In a class of preteens, a child who was asked to give an example of “words and opposites” replied without much thought: the opposite of childhood is adultery. I imagine till date, what my response would have been as the inquiring teacher. My mind would probably race to what might have influenced such a disturbing deduction.
From where I stand now, I would love to think the opposite of childhood to be guilt. Guilt of knowledge- sometimes detrimental; guilt of awareness to realities that often tamper with our bliss; guilt of possessing just enough courage to question what hitherto were answers; guilt of losing our innocence.
It’s of course nothing close to our fault that as we age, we grab even from the air we breathe, the knowledge of what we shouldn’t do for reasons like shame. We are not to blame for waking up ‘suddenly’ with a realization of the flavors of a kiss and the savor of friendship. Should we feel guilt, truly, for becoming conscious of some of the emotions that define the mature from the otherwise?
As a child for instance, we are profoundly gullible. What’s wrong with believing for the umpteenth time, that Uncle Mike will buy us an airplane? What’s there to not believe? He’s Uncle Mike, who plays with me all too often and loves me in a way that makes the word ‘Uncle’ simply special. Beneath this gullibility is the enduring hope in people- the unreserved trust in the ability of people to come through with their promises. It’s what makes kids, kids. Why does this disappear? When do we realize that humans at their very best are humans and can fail despite the grandeur and sincerity of their plans?
Long before we became guilty, we found it easy letting go of wrongs. I could perhaps term this amnesia of the infant. It powered our trust in those who repeatedly broke promises; it allowed friends back into our good books after they hurt us; it gave the word sorry, all the meaning in the world. “I’m sorry” did more magic than it does for adults. Childhood made us too blind to the realities which make adulthood quite an ordeal. We were blissfully unaware of what goes into winning bread and how weighty heartbreaks are and the nightmare that betrayal represents. We were just glad to wake, race through daylight with delight until darkness compelled our eyelids to drop for a while.
I long to experience this unawareness again! I yearn for what it felt like to be unsuspecting of people just because they are from this tribe or that religious background. I gasp longingly for the pure pleasures of innocence again. It might sound like the extreme of wishes and more so, the hope that would forever remain comatose, yet I long again for innocence.
I know adulthood is a beautiful gift to all who come into it and that of course, was designed to move us up into the needful stage of taking responsibilities. I know that we are to grow up and should grow up and my yearnings are not contrary to what adulthood represents. It’s rather a hope that in addition to what adults are, we could also retain and enjoy the prime beauties of childhood.
It would make us quick to forgive and less hurt-prone because most of our hard feelings would dissolve in tears. It would return a strong sense of humanity to us. If we could chase innocence and be fortunate enough to lay hold of it, I’m quite certain that we would take God at His word. Easily. Like children, we would be more curious about everything yet be easily content with the ‘biscuits’ of life. We would act in defiance of generalizations and treasure moments shared with those dear to us, more. If we could lay hold of innocence once more, we would laugh more, hope more, live more.
