SWAG!

Swag! What on earth does that word mean? In the now famous context (no thanks to Soldier boy), I frankly don’t believe that it still means a sway in your gait.
In his words? “Put some swag on. You could get disqualified for lacking it you know”. I listened confusedly to one of the judges of an audition I attended. For an audition that sought more than anything, oratorical skills, I was perplexed that my celebrated oratory could lose its weight in the absence of my swag. What is that? I don’t know if I was being too courteous to the judges (to project innocence and rig my chances) or if I was too ruffled to even speak but I really wanted to ask these judges what that word meant to them.
As I contemplated that, an opponent walked in and they immediately pointed out what they meant by “put your swag on”. As I looked at the young man in question, I could only see arrogance. Did they mean swag and arrogance are undefined synonyms? I feel so bad. Why did it take so long for me to have deciphered this? Yet I wonder, are they supposed to praise the level of confidence that swings deep into pride? Are they supposed to applaud he who says loud and clear: I’ve gat it, you need it, so listen ‘cos I’m talking”?
Well, that's what I saw.
And yes, I was eventually screened out for lacking the necessary swag. I wasn’t swaggerly enough!
A debate needs confidence, how much of it makes up arrogance? How much of hands tucked into my trouser beams my swag? I understand that I might have done better, smiled wider but swagged further? I don’t know.
They did their best- the judges - and I have taken home the assignment to be more gestural. I hope when I am again offered such a great chance by life, this take-home assignment would make me shimmer in high flying colors. If I ever have to stand before any judge or a group of them, then I sure hope I’m well clad with a swag that would be so ‘in-their-face’, they would call me the best ‘Swaggard’ so far. For crying out loud, ‘no swag’ just cost me three million naira!